Los Años!

“Los Años!” It’s the phrase that was exchanged every few hours last week. It literally means “years,” but expresses how long it felt since last seeing my friends, my neighbors, this place.

I’ve been back in Ecuador for a little over a week now. Last Wednesday I returned to Mount Sinai after being sent home for health reasons. The foundation requested I go home after 5 months of off-and-on infections and high fevers. They told me I would return after getting better—once I had the clear from a doctor—but no one knew how long that would be. After 5 weeks at home I was ready to come back and finish my volunteer year. Gracias a Dios, all tests came back normal. I turned out not to have kidney stones, all levels were healthy, and it turned out my immune system got taken down in December and I just wasn’t in an environment to ever get it back up.

When I was first told I was going home there was a mix of emotions. Like I mentioned in my last blog, I was lucky to have a volunteer retreat that weekend but not much time to say goodbye to my neighbors. I was sad, frustrated at myself for letting my sickness get the best of me, worried I wouldn’t be back for a long time, and anxious about returning to the U.S. And yet, as hard as it was to be away for those 5 weeks, I realize now that it was a necessary thing, a blessing in many ways, and a time filled with silver linings.

The majority of my time in Aurora was split between resting, time with my family, and doctor’s appointments. First and foremost, it didn’t take long for me to realize that my body needed this time to heal. I look back to my months here from December to April and I think I can safely say I was “medio-voluntario” (half of a volunteer). So much time was spent in the house, on the couch, in my bed, and I missed so much in my community, work, etc. It didn’t help that I refused to admit that being extremely sick so often was exhausting and took everything out of me even when I was physically okay. Although I couldn’t see it or admit it when I was leaving Ecuador, it’s clear to me that being home with my family gave me a clean, nurturing environment to recuperate, get back on my feet—physically and emotionally—and finish these last 2 months of my volunteer year with energy and strength.

However, luck has it that I was home for a lot of moments I would have otherwise missed. I came home just in time for Mother’s Day and the whole family got to celebrate it. Both my mom and girlfriend Emily had a birthday, my high school 5 year reunion happened, our family participated in and got 1^st PLACE at a Memorial Day Rib Competition, and (most excitingly) my older sister Katie got engaged!

I also felt very bad about leaving Hogar de Cristo (my work) while I was still in the middle of my map project, as it was 5 months in the making. After a couple weeks home I realized I could take advantage of my mom’s design programs and better computers to finish and print my map of Mount Sinai. So—thanks to family friends Joe and Frank who work at a printing company—I was able to return to Sinai with a two laminated, blown-up maps: one for Hogar and one for our volunteer house.

The months leading up to leaving Ecuador I found myself struggling with being present here. My mind wandered homesickness and worrying about my communication with friends and family. While I was home, Emily was able to come visit twice, I caught up with friends I hadn’t talked to all year, and was able to see friends who were in the area. Being able to process the time with people was something I didn’t know I’d need, but really helped me in my time home. Perhaps one of the biggest silver linings of the unexpected gap in my volunteer year is coming back feeling secure in relationships with the hope that I can be far more present in the rest of my time here.

There is no doubt, however, that being away from Mount Sinai was hard; I thought about it every day. My volunteer community had to take on 3 retreat groups one-man-down, I missed a neighbor’s wedding, and couldn’t wish people who have cared for me this year a Happy Mother’s Day in person. However, more than anything, it was especially tough because of what has been happening in Mount Sinai since April. I mentioned in a previous blog how the recently re-elected president has been cracking down on invasion communities and took away some electricity and closed hardware stores. But what the people here have feared is finally happening as the government has begun to desolojar (evict/displace) families in certain sectors. The police come in, hand out notices that say they have a week to be out of the house before they come with armed forces and bulldozers to destroy the house, no questions asked. The biggest and most violent desolojo happened while I was gone. In a sector about 5 minutes away more than 400 families were evicted, some being families of children from the afterschool program where we work. These particular evictions do not give the families an alternative, no city housing or compensation; it is more of a “I don’t care where you go you just can’t stay here.” The most recent one happened this past Tuesday and about 100 families’ homes were destroyed.

View from our afterschool program BEFORE the evictions.

AFTER. The day of the evictions.

This major change happening in Mount Sinai was one reason it was difficult to leave back in May, and it was definitely hard being 3,000 miles away when something so traumatic happened in the neighborhood. But when I returned I was filled in on what had happened and all I can do is be there for our neighbors as the fear and uncertainty continues to affect so many of our friends here.

I got to have one of the first dances
with the birthday girl !

But despite the hard times here, my time back has been busy and our neighbors continue to bring life into our day to day. I’ve had a full first week back including Scarlet’s Quinceañera, celebrating Father’s Day with some amazing dads (including Bolivar, below, with cake on his face), making waffles with Omar and Eli, having another retreat group, manning the grill as we made carne asada tacos for our neighbors Bolivar and Susana, and making it back just in time to say goodbye to a youth group friend who is joining an order to become a nun. It was healthy for me to be home for awhile, and although I am still getting back into the swing of things, I have missed the joy and life this place throws at me every day. It’s a reality I’m blessed to be a part of and I’m happy to be back with friends and Ecua-family here. Despite everything that has happened in the last 2 months—as unplanned as it was—I am thankful.

“Gusto a verte, Ecuador.”

Miguelito